The challenge: to let go of guilt

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss, etc. Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.

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Do you ever wish you could change your past?  Do things of the past affect your daily living in the areas of:

• eating-by how much or how little you eat
• the way you treat your spouse
• the way you treat your children
• how hard it is to say “no”
• how you spend your money on unnecessary items
• how you spend your quite time–dwelling over the “what ifs” or the “could of should of would of” lines.

Guilt is often a self-created reminder of all the things we wish we had done differently for ourselves.

No one wants to be reminded of being the cause of someone else’s pain, or that something they did caused a major problem.
Most everyone has lived with guilt, letting it bother them in every decision they have made in life. Guilt comes from regret which comes from fear. Living in fear is something God does not want us to do.

Deuteronomy 31:6 says:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Most of us will just push that lesson aside and let it fester like a sore, and it will continue festering for life. Bothering us as we go about our daily ways, affecting us physically, emotionally, and socially. What can one do to help lessen the load of guilt?

Why make the change:

We all need reminders. We need to know that we are not our mistakes or mishaps. We all do things for which we feel bad about in hindsight. We question our thought or actions, we wish to turn back the hands of time and do differently. Sometimes it is not possible to clean up our mess so easily. Yet, we feel as if we should suffer.

We continue to allow the guilt to eat us up inside out.  This in turn forces us to stay put in a thought which prevents us from healing, moving forward, owning our mess and seeing what can be done.

This is NOT a healthy way to live.  This will not benefit you or others around you.  We want to live life to the fullest and know that things happen and there isn’t a whole lot we can do about them.  We can just accept, get over, and keep pressing forward.

How to make the change:

This might sound easier than it looks.  But I can tell you from personal experience, it is well worth it to get over it.  You will never be able to fully live out your life in a positive manner if you live in bondage of guilt.

But it takes more courage, more strength to get up, even when we feel wounded.  But I encourage you to make the strides, even if we still feel devastated.  You can  not remain in tragic limbo hurting. A period of time for mourning the person we wish we had been is normal, expected. Yet the person we can become awaits us as we chastise ourselves for actions we can no longer retrieve.

We can make a change, if we decide to get up, make a plan, encourage ourselves to address what we did and find a way to work on it.

Here are some practical ways to address guilt:

1. write it down.  Use a journal or plain old paper and write a letter to God about all of the guilt you are expressing.  Keep it and you can review it later, you might be surprised at how you feel a few days later.
2. Entrust in a good friend.  Sometimes sharing and talking with a close friend will help you sort through your feelings of guilt.  Sometimes what you thought was a big deal was not really a big deal at all.
3. Forgive and move onward. Obsessing over what you could have done in the past keeps you from focusing on the present.  Address your guilt and make amends with whomever you feel you’ve wronged. Realize that things just happen and there isn’t much that we can do to prevent them.
4. When guilt starts to creep up on you for not doing something, or for something you may have done wrong–immediately start rebuking that thought.  Start focusing on the positive side of things not the negative.

Don’t let your struggle become your identity.
Ralston Bowles

Your past CANNOT determine your future.  It can be wiped clean and started over fresh.

 

When I started having a larger than normal family, one thing I realized we could not get much of was convenience freezer snacks.  Yes, I know that they are not good for you, but every once in awhile I like to get a bag to eat for a special treat.  Well when you have lots of mouths to feed, that cost for a simple snack, gets quite expensive.  Plus I don’t want to feed my children those types of foods, if I can help it.

I decided I needed to come up with some alternatives to help feed those cravings of fun snacks.  I took inventory of some of my children’s favorites and came up with healthier versions.

southwestern chicken taquitos

These were probably one of my very favorites.  Deep fried and so good, but I knew I could not honestly feed these to my children, or myself for that matter and feel good about it.  I came up with my own baked version.  We really like them.  Serve with some ranch dressing, guacamole, or salsa and they are DELICIOUS!

baked corn dogs

I am not a big hotdog person, but my children love them.  They really like corndogs on a stick. Well with little ones, you really don’t want to be handing them a stick.  Eventually someone is going to try and poke someone’s eye!!  Plus deep fried, oh so not good. I came up with this baked version.  That to me tastes like the Bagel Dogs we used to get from the Schwan man as a kid.  Not bad.

twice baked potatoes

Ok well, we technically liked the potato skins that are from TGIFridays, but as a Mom, I didn’t want to waste the inside pulp, came up with these very yummy tasting twice baked potatoes.  They are filled with bacon, sour cream, cheese, and green onions.  So yummy!!

pretzels

My girls really like to make homemade pretzels, they find it quite fun to sculpt the dough into different shapes.  We used to buy these in large bags from the grocery store and have since resorted to our homemade ones.  After making them we place them onto a cookie sheet and freeze them until solid.  Place them into large sized plastic freezer bags.  You can pull out as many as you need to serve.  Fun treats for children to make.

poor boy subs

These are kind of convenient to have in your freezer.  I didn’t know that you could “freeze” subs and have them taste good.  Well you can.  This is nice for my husband who would like a quick snack, without me having to make them.  After preparing them, I wrap in tin foil and place into large freezer bags.  If you didn’t want to make them onto large bread, like I did in the post, you can make them on smaller sub sized buns for single servings.

What are some of your families favorite snacks that you have learned to make yourself instead of buying store bought?