Monthly Archives: July 2014

The challenge: to subtract people/things that deduct from your life

Okay, we ALL have them….people and things that take WAY too much unnecessary time from our lives.  It may be time spent finding out what is going on, on Facebook, it might be long, negative phone conversations spent with friends, or it could be sitting in front of the television watching the “new” series that came out.  We all have things in our life that are basically “deducting” from precious time that could be spent in a more positive area.

Why make the change:

How many of us “wish” that we had more time to do things?

I know I make excuses from time to time that say,”if only I had more time, or I would but I can’t seem to fit it into my day.”   Then some of my “free” time  is spent “relaxing” in front of the tv or spent sitting listening to people complain about life.

Now nothing is WRONG with talking and encouraging friends that may be going through a rough time, or even watching a show, I am talking about the things that are constantly time consuming, drain us of emotional energy, and are generally not a “positive” light in our life.

It is so easy to keep adding friends and things into our life.  We are constantly handed new opportunities to minister, new friends that seem generally okay to hang out with, and many commitments that sound like great opportunities for our children.  But not everything NEEDS to be added to our life.

If you are finding that you are emotionally drained after visiting with a friend, stressed out trying to get to prior commitments and most importantly your spouse does not view your friends or your desire to fill your schedules full as good, it is time to subtract things.

How to make the change:

I know myself, I have had people come into my life that are generally not adding benefits to it.  Not that people have to “add” but you can get wrapped up in “saving” people or letting them unleash their problems more times than needed.  It is a fine line and something that needs to be put through to God first.

These people could be family, best friends, or even co-workers.  If you are finding that the majority of your time with these people results in negative behavior because of their lifestyle choices, or maybe they constantly like to complain and bring negativity into your life thus resulting in you being negative yourself.  It may be time to subtract.

Now, we can’t always just drop people, although some may beg to differ.  You can subtract people from your life without severing all ties.  Sometimes it can mean less time talking to them, or finding other avenues that you can pour your time into like say time with your children.

Sometimes it is commitments and a full schedule that need to be subtracted from our lives.  I know when I fill my days full and barely have time to sit and talk with my husband each evening, he gets frustrated.  If I am running around here and there not being a “keeper at home” then how can I show my children the value of what God has called me to be?  Activities are fun to do, don’t get me wrong, but you have to find that balance of what is God-honoring and family-honoring.

You shouldn’t be going through life on the hamster wheel, constantly running here and there because you are going to miss some really great things that only come from having some quiet, relaxing time.  Your children, your spouse, and you deserve to be able to enjoy just doing nothing but being with each other.

I want my children to learn that you don’t always have to be doing something to be happy.  I want them to value friendships in the way that it is better to have a few really good ones then lots of broken, stressed out, emotional taking ones.

The best ways to decide which people, commitments, or activities to subtract from your life is to seek God in prayer.  Ask Him to show you which ones are deducting from your life in a negative way.  Go to your husband and ask him if there are any activities, people, or commitments that he sees as unhealthy in your life.

That could be a hard thing to do.  We are generally people pleasers and to feel like you let someone down will be hard to do.  But life is too short, we need to be adding positive things and people to our life not keeping the ones that deduct from it.

The lazy days of summer………….just go by too quickly.  We have had a GREAT summer so far!!  This has been a very fun year for my family.  It really has been one of the first that I have been able to do so much “socially” and it is rather fun:) I remember the days of being tired and worn and then how life just got easier.

Since I don’t do Instagram, here is some of the fun we have enjoyed this summer…..going to the fair.

**A testimony, I wasn’t planning on going to the fair and didn’t budget for it.  My husband, being as awesome as he is, said just take some money and go.  Me, being frugal said, “no, let us roll the change jar and see what we come up with.”  Well the children, after finding out we were going that day, hurriedly rolled all the money.  We had $67.  Took it to the bank and we were off.  I had to put some gas in, cost me $10.  We then paid for parking, $15 and we bought $40 worth of tickets. .    That was enough for each child to go on 2 rides each!!!  We then paid $2 to feed some butterflies.  It really was a blessing to say to my children, look how cool God is.  He provided a day for us that we weren’t going to have.

Most of our afternoons are spent outside on the swings.  

Or catching chickens…….

or ducks if you are fast enough:)

Swimming has been something the children have done a lot of this summer.  We definitely put our pool to use this summer.  We used to go to our local beach but it got to be more of a hassle with so many little ones, so my husband said lets buy a nice big one that they can all swim in.  At first I didn’t want to spend the money, but I am glad that we got the larger sized pool.  We got the Intex Ultra Frame 18×52.

The pool sets up easy, took maybe an hour to set up.  It is nice and sturdy.  Definitely needed around here.

More “sturdy” toys.  We bought this heavier duty tricycle and it has lasted over the years much more than the typical tricycle.  Jentzen likes to ride it around the yard, picking up wood for Daddy.

We did lots of fires outside, enjoyed eating dinner outside as much as we could too. I love it because the mess is much easier to clean up.  We have chickens, they will come eat the scraps!!!

Bubbles—fun time for outside.

We went to many local parks this summer as well.  This one was more of a walking, wooded park.  

Dad took us on this adventure and we all got eaten alive!!!  Bug spray next time.  We enjoyed seeing turtle nests.  Good fun memories for the children.

We have enjoyed our open mics outdoors.  Here Daddy was rocking it with Tony our old drummer from church.  This has been one of our favorite activities to do as a family.  Bringing teenagers together and having a good time of fellowship.  We even provide a “spot light.”  Good times.

We have been doing lots more, but that at least is a “glimpse.”  I enjoy taking a break from school routine and schedules.  Let us sleep in a little later, watch a few more movies, let the children stay up until it gets dark, all the good things about summer.  I enjoy getting together with friends, planning my days around what time we are going to make it out to the pool, and what I will cook over the fire for dinner.

Well it all sounds fun and dandy, but reality is……………I have a family of “real” people and life doesn’t always look like it does in my pictures.

Teenagers do more socializing and are away from home more and then come home tired and crabby.  Children get lazy and play more video games and watch more movies.  Little ones, start getting moody because they need something to do and start fighting with each other.  Keeping little ones up past “normal” bedtime hours leads to crabby toddlers the next day.  Cooking dinner over a fire, isn’t always on time.  Little ones don’t usually do well waiting when their tummies need food.   Mom kind of gets a little “bored” (did I say that??!?!?) and would like some structure.

Well all that happens and things start coming apart, I know it is time to start planning my days for school.

So how do we do it?  Watch for tomorrows post on preparing for school to begin part 2.

Some of my  children are at that age where they are beginning to seek out a spouse for their lives and if not now, soon in the future. How exciting it is to see all of the years of training and teaching come to fruition in their lives.I have spent much time seeking the Lord for my children’s future and have seen God do some mighty things.  No, my children are not “perfect” they have faults like everyone else, but I see God doing things that only He could do.  I raised them and can guide and direct but ultimately it is up to them to make their own decisions.

As a Mother, it is hard if you see them sway the wrong ways.  But it is at those times where the power of prayer comes into play.  God is able to do so much more than we can even comprehend.  He will use those sometimes “wrong” decisions to ultimately shape and mold your children’s life.   I remember the talks we had, the seeds that were planted and sometimes I wondered if any of those were going to grow.  It was a step of faith, hoping that the Lord will see us through it. Sometimes we had bumps in the road, “did I mention my children aren’t perfect?”  but, God IS perfect.  I have stood firm on Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose.

So how do we pray for our children’s future spouse?  We get specific.  We write down everything that we, as Mothers feel that the Lord wants in our children’s lives.  Will they ALL happen?  That is not for us to decide, it is up to God and what His perfect plan is for your children’s future.

My daughter attends a purity bible study each month and one of the lessons was to write down what qualities she wanted in a husband.  I thought that was a great idea.  Why couldn’t I, as Mother stand in the gap and pray those things for my children?

Do I pray every day, week, or month for my children’s spouses? No, but when the Lord stirs my heart, I pray for them.  Sometimes when I struggled with things in my own marriage, I prayed.  When it grew stronger and I saw God’s hand doing a mighty move, I prayed.  I want my children to experience all of the same joys that I have in my own marriage, as well as learn from my  struggles and weaknesses. I want Gods’ absolute best for them so I am asking God for it ALL!

What do I ask?  Here is my petition:

I want my son/daughter to have a Christian home and family.  I want them to have a godly man who is to be the spiritual leader of their home.  A man that will guide and lead his family.

I want him to take his family to church on Sunday.  I want him to pray for her and with her each day.  I want him to be involved at church and with his children at church.

I want them to be unconditional in their ways.  I don’t want them to ever expect things in return.  I want both of them to accept God’s blessings, each and every one of them however small they may be.  I want them to smile and laugh, because they are so full of joy that only comes from God.

I want them  to accept the world as it is and not let it affect their walk with God.  A man who wants to change the world.  I want to see the husbands feel like they can conquer the world.  A man/woman that has a positive approach on life and who is full of understanding.

I want the  husband/wife to push them to be a better person in a kind and encouraging way.  I also want spouses that will work on their own spiritual path as well as  encourage the others walk.

I want the man to practice chivalry.  A man who will do things for her like open the door, hold her hand, listen to her talk about nothing and everything.  I want him to be able to manage his finances wisely–doesn’t have to be rich or poor, just smart.

Above all,  I want my children to find a spouse that is so in love with them that they would move mountains for them.

Is that asking too much?

Do you have any requests/petitions to God for your children’s future spouses?