Tag Archives: involved parenting

“Mom, I am bored….there is nothing to do” part 1

Posted on 06/29/2013 | Leave a comment

Have you heard these words come out of your child’s mouth lately? I know with the summer break from school there has been more free time in my children’s day. That has led to more discontent, more arguments, and more “Mom, I’m bored, there’s nothing to do…” syndrome. Really??!??!! With 8 other children home all day and your bored???Makes me want to turn from vacation and head straight into a new school year. What’s a mom to do?

Well I could quickly rewind their life. Taking away all media influences which means no TV no internet no cell phone. I put them in a box and never let them see the outside world again. Yeah that will never work .

or I can take a step back….

I need to exam my life and see if I am struggling with discontent in any area. Do I struggle with unrest? Do I need to be constantly amused with the latest movies, newest music, or that top-selling christian book? Do I have to be involved in numerous activities that take me outside of my role as mother? Do I feel I deserve a vacation or time away each week with friends?

All these things show discontent in my life. I am not happy in my calling so I need to fulfill it in other ways. What will I be teaching my children?

What kind of appetites will I be creating in my children that they will carry into their adult lives? Do I want them to constantly feel that they need free time and social time with friends/media?

Of course not I want my children to learn happiness in the home. Quietness and simplicity are very healthy appetites to encourage in our children. I want my children to value and enjoy the pleasure of simplicity, to enjoy the ordinary tasks in life. Instead of always looking for the extraordinary.

Our modern society provides many quick escapes from boredom,. In movies, internet, games, and social media circles these have all replaced simplicity in the home. We need to remove these escapes to allow for a bit of boredom, to foster some creativity in our children.

It’s amazing how numb our culture has become to the simplicity’s of life. Our children need to be taught to be bored, to foster creativity in their lives.

After about a few days of media fasting your children will begin to play together, create together, and will look forward to spending time with one another.

Look for part 2 tomorrow to see how we as Mothers can help spark that creativity in our children

Training boys to work

Posted on 06/24/2013 | 8 comments

With my husband working long hours now, not being able to do many of the tasks needing done in our home, my honey “to do” list is growing. I’m thankful for a teenage son who enjoys working and can carry out most of “dads” work. I believe my husband will agree as well.

We have needed a new shoe rack as ours has grown too small, what a great task to give to my boys to make. With some trial and error, some suggestions from mom, they came out with my new shoe rack. Such a sense of accomplishment from the boys, to be able to share in doing a useful productive task for our family.

In today’s society we have lost the importance of training our boys to be hard-working men. What is the good of knowing how to read or write when the young man doesn’t have the heart to work? Today’s boys are often forced to sit for hours,year after year in front of books. Child labor laws don’t even let them work hard hours until after 12 to 16 years of age, then folks wonder why teenagers just want to sit on the couch and play video games all day long.

A boy who learns to love work will master his school work when it’s needed . He will learn to read what’s important. But in the meantime, his interaction with things that are practical will offer the wisdom he needs to direct himself into useful pursuits, and empower him to provide for a family of his own in the days to come .

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. –Proverbs 13:4

Within every man is the desire to work. Even though some men don’t even know that is there. However when necessity or some pressing authority is pushing that in a constructive useful way, most men will learn to enjoy work. They will love to build, to create, to make useful practical things.

I pray you train your boys to become future, hard-working men.

If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12

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Posted in positive living, raising children

Tagged fathers and sons, influencing, involved parenting, motivation, raising children

Where have all the “good daddy’s gone?”

Posted on 06/15/2013 | Leave a comment

It doesnt take a genius to know the facts about how our society has lost the fathers in the home. Most every problem our young men have today can be some how related back to the relationship they had with their fathers. Most Dads are too busy working or following their own leisure activities, that they forgot what their first role in life was—to be a father.

Then you have the other side of the spectrum where the fathers are told to be their child’s ‘friend’ instead of being their child’s parent which is leading to a whole generation of children growing up with no sense of direction or self-control. These children are learning to have an unhealthy sense of entitlement and have an inability to deal with any authority. They have no idea about quaint notions like ‘boundaries’ or ‘the consequences of their actions’. We are witnessing the creation of a generation of selfish teenagers who feel the world owes them something for having done absolutely nothing.
When does all this madness stop. When do Dads step up and take a stand to reclaim their place in the home?

Children need rules, direction, and authority in order to thrive. They need to fail, to fall down, to get hurt, to cry, and to see consequences to their actions in order to be healthy and well-adjusted.
Fathers, you are the primary model of manhood for your sons. You are their most meaningful mentor, and believe it or not, you are their hero in countless ways. Your words and your example are a great influence on them.

A good father makes all the difference in a child’s life. He’s a pillar of strength, support and discipline. His work is endless and, oftentimes, thankless. But in the end, it shows in the sound, well-adjusted children he raises.

For a man to raise his boys, that is his pride and joy. In your boys you should see a promising future and a hope for a better, more improved version of your self. All their accomplishments should be a joy to you. You need to share in their worries and problems and counsel them as you can.

Talk to them about everything. Share with them your failures, your how-to’s, and just good clean man talk. Dont dominate the conversation. Ask questions, get them to open up about issues in their lives. Let them know you truly do care whats going on.

Include them in all your activities. If you are away from the home most of the day, make sure you save “man” projects to do with your boys. Teach them skills that they will need for their future.

And fathers pray for your boys. All of the negative influences that our teenage boys are being shown in every aspect of their lives through digital media is staggering. Pray that your boys will keep their eyes closed to such negative influences in the world.

In honor of Fathers Day, to the most wonderful “daddy” my children could ever have. Thank you for being a wonderful man for our sons. ( and daughters too). Happy Fathers Day!

Taking the time with your children

Posted on 06/07/2013 | 2 comments

When I first became a mother I had an older wiser woman tell me to get down on my child’s level often. But as a mom of many I realize the reality of much to do in a days time. It is very easy to forget what my most important jobs are.

If you want to connect, really connect with your child, get down on their level. While talking to them look into their eyes so that they know all your attention is on them. Listen to what they have to say. If it is a crawling baby, get down and crawl around with your baby, nothing worse than seeing mom walk off to no mans land and not being able to catch her.

When walking with your child, if not absolutely necessary, don’t keep their arms pulled up into the air for long periods of time. I think that if I had to constantly look up or keep my arm extended up while holding someone else’s hand, it would become tiresome.

Do something out of the ordinary to surprise your small children, throw on some music and start dancing for half an hour with them. Grab a piece of paper and draw a picture for them–you don’t have to be an artist, make it fun.

If you have a fussing baby, walk them outside for a moment, just a change of scenery will brighten their day.

When my children goto bed each night, I want them to lay in bed thinking about the fun they had that day. I don’t want them to remember all of mom’s crabby moods. I want them to think about the picture I drew, or the flower we picked, or the bug we looked at.

As always remember this little life has been handed to you, it is your job to nurture and help it grow. Take the time to stop and enjoy with them just being a child. See the blessings that the Lord will bring forth by
taking those few extra moments with them.

John 15:12
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

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Posted in positive living, raising children

Tagged happiness, household, including your children, influencing, involved parenting, raising children

Investing in your children’s lives

Posted on 06/04/2013 | 1 comment

I was just about to do yet another load of dishes for the day, when our 2 year old came crying by my leg. It has been a busy day for me, lots of little ones sick this week, and I hadn’t gotten much one on one time with her. She has been extremely fussy, maybe teeth, maybe just feeling yuck. My first response was to send her off to play with someone else, but I knew I had to do better. I scooped her up and set her on the counter where I was doing dishes.

As she sat on the counter helping me wash, she instantly became a happy child. As we went about washing the dishes we sang some bible songs, talked about how special she was and how much Jesus loves her, her love bucket was instantly filled. But if I would have went with my first response and ignored the opportunity to pour myself into her life, I would have missed out on a very important teaching time.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

In these verses it declares that God’s word was to be passed on from generation to generation. Parents were charged with the responsibility of passing the faith on to their children. They were to instruct their children throughout the course of the day.

Mothers, sometimes its easier and faster to do all the work yourselves, especially when you are having a hard week due to sickness but what are we going to gain from all of that? A super clean house? A loss of our children’s hearts maybe? Children need to feel included and that they are a necessary part of the family. The best way to do that is to include them in everything that you do, don’t send them away, let them help you in your work. Be a team. Help grow your relationship together. You will not regret investing time in your children’s lives.