How often do we hear that children come first.  But is it true?  Is it possible that this policy is backfiring, and doing more harm than good?

Over and over we read articles that remind us as parents to put your children first.  They are more important than anything else.  On the surface this sounds like good advice, but in real life it can be taken too far.  Children should not be allowed to monopolize the parents’ lives to the extent that it is doing more harm than good.

Yet, the welfare of the children is the top priority.  What do we mean by welfare?  Children need food clothes, shelter, and love.  But they also need to learn to submit, to obey, and to sacrifice for others.  They should not have ALL their wants supplied and wishes granted.  This makes for selfish children.

We are not being fair to our children if we do not introduce them to life’s realities.  We are not being kind to them if we let them dominate our lives–if we let them grow up thinking the world is going to revolve around them!  It won’t!  It is best for them to learn this when they are young and of impressionable age.

As parents go about their work, they should allow the little ones to help, but they will need to set limits.  How can we go about doing that?  By including them in our work.

Baking day

Let’s start with baking day.  Gather your basic supplies on the table, then position yourself so that you are facing your children’s main play area.  Then if they tire of helping you, you can still make eye contact with them as they go about their play.  Put chairs on your side of the table so that you are within reach of accidents or can lend a helping hand.

Next on your list is to set limits.  No child climbs up onto the table for any reason.  No walking about the kitchen with bowls of batter or lumps of dough.  Insist that they do the baking prep around the table.

Let’s start with an apple pie.  Each child that wants to be involved hand out a pie plate and a butter knife.  Now Mom’s hands must fly while those apples are peeled and chopped into sections for the children to then cut themselves.  Tell your children a story while you are cutting up the apples.  Share a bible story, or a character building story. Tell them something you did when you were growing up.  Children love to hear their parents tell them things they did as a youngster.  Of course give pieces of apple to the little ones first, as they will have a harder time waiting.  This is an excellent time to teach your children about sitting still and waiting turns.

After you have a bowl full of apples peeled, you can pass them out to your children and let them slice the apples as you prepare the pie dough.  Let them cut with butter knives and a cutting board.  It won’t matter if some of the pieces are larger than others, it will give your pie some variety.  Little hands can mix up some sugar and cinnamon and they will love to sprinkle that on their own pies.  If you don’t have many different pie plates, let your child make them and put them into muffin tins to make “mini” pies.  Let those go into the oven first and then they can have them as a snack for the day.  Let them enjoy the “fruits of their labor.”

By now the novelty of baking may have worn off and you can mix up and make your other baking items without much assistance.  Watch your children and remark about their play, but stay at your work.  If the two year old has a block, tell him to line it up and make a fence for his animals.  If the 3 year old has a doll, tell her to get the pink blanket to wrap the baby in and ride to church.

When you have the muffin batter mixed, call the oldest two back from their play and let them grease the muffin tins, or put in paper cups, and then let them spoon the batter into the holes.  If they can trust you to let them help you with interesting jobs, then they will not be underfoot all the time.  Mothers who try and do the jobs quickly while the children are “out of they way,” find that they are in the way most of the time.  Now the muffin bowl is empty.

The lunch crackers just came out of the oven.  Each little helper can carry a cracker back to his play.  These crackers consist of pie dough rolled very thinly and then sprinkled with sugar, pricked with a fork, and cut into any shape.  Let one of your older children make these from dough scraps.

No time to bake for your family?  Do not try and bake everyday.  During the winter, one baking day a week is enough.  Most of the work is in gathering your supplies.  Once you have all of your supplies ready it does not matter if you make one pie or 5 pies.  Make enough baked goods to last you for your week.

Sewing Day

Are you ready for a day of sewing?  Try to do the cutting while the baby is napping to prevent a strain on your patience.  Remember one thing your children do not like to do is see your back.  Try and position yourself so that you will be facing your children while working.

What can you do to help keep your little ones occupied while sewing?  You can make some simple lacing cards for your children while you are sewing.  Take a cereal box and draw a simple shape, cat, barn or duck.  Punch some holes around the shape and then give your child a shoe lace to sew around the picture.

You can also use this time to let your child learn embroidery.  Give your child a scrap piece of material and draw a simple shape onto it.  You can make a heart, a house, a flower, etc.  Something simple and basic.  Give your child a needle and some embroidery thread, let them try and do some simple stitching through the drawing.

Whatever the activity remember to comment about the children’s work periodically or ask them to do something for you.  This keeps them involved.  While you tend to the baby, the 4 year old can help sweep up around the sewing machine.  The children can also wash the dishes, set the table, and fold towels and washcloths.

I could go on about how you can include your children in your daily work, but I hope the message is clear.  Children are not to be shoved aside while work is being done, then brought out at a convenient time to be “raised.”   Since the needs of the children create most of a Mother’s work, she does not need to feel guilty for being busy with these duties.  By including the children in everything she does, she is teaching them important values that will help them all their lives.

A child’s personality is extremely mold-able at a young age.  We as parents need to help encourage that mold in the right direction.  If the children are taught to believe that they come first, they will believe that everyone should cater to their wishes.  How will they learn to get along with other children?  How will they learn to put God first in their lives, if they spent the first 15 years of their life believing that they come first?

Yes children do come first before fancy curtains, freshly painted houses, manicured lawns, and elaborate flower beds.  But children should not come before respect for parents and love for God.

It used to be that when a mother had a little girl begin school, the mother used to say, I don’t know how I will get along without her, she is such a big help.  Now mothers are saying in an exasperated tone, I am so glad that she finally gets to start school, she hardly knows what to do with herself anymore.

We need to be training and teaching our children to enjoying working in the ever day tasks.  Mothers please do not let your children sit and play while you are off doing the housework and baking.  I know that it can be more stressful at times to include little ones, I agree 100% that it is way faster and cleaner to do the job yourself.  But what is that teaching our little ones?  How will they learn to be part of the family if not allowed to contribute to household tasks?

Make a commitment today to start investing in your child’s life by including them in your daily household tasks.

 

Why fast…….

If you are one of those people who sense God has more for your life, take the first step and believe for more of Him.  Start the year off right and discover the rewards of putting God first.  Begin the New year with a fast.

Fasting is a discipline that helps to shift our priorities. It puts Him first and allows us to hear His plan, receive His direction and His blessings. If you want success in your life, in your marriage, in your work—putting God first is the key.

Fasting is probably one of the most neglected spiritual admonitions.  I know when I was first introduced to it, it was hard finding information about doing it.  Things like how I was supposed to feel, why I was supposed to do it, how my body would change, etc.  That is why I am wanting to write on this topic as well as document my progress through it.

When I first had been introduced to fasting, I never took it seriously.  I said I would abstain from some of my favorite things and then of course fail at that.  I would use the excuse that I was pregnant or nursing and could not “give up” eating a meal or foods.  That was all excuses.

I’m pregnant or nursing, I surely can’t fast….

I have learned that you can fast while nursing and still provide enough milk for your baby. You probably will drink more water while on you fast, because you will be more aware of drinking liquids.    You can also fast while pregnant, not a complete fast where you give up all foods, but you can surely give up most of the “fillers” in your diet.  Did you know that most people while pregnant or nursing WAY overeat????  Did you know that most Americans WAY overeat??  We are so accustomed to eating so much food that when approached to eat less, we use excuses as to why we cannot.  We need to be evaluating our diets and seeing which types of our foods we can eliminate.  You can put yourself on a Whole Foods approach while pregnant or nursing and still be within a “fasting approach” plus at the same time giving your baby the nutrients he/she REALLY needs.

Fast for health reasons….

Last year, when I started my weight loss journey, it began with a fast.  I realized that for health and mental reasons, I needed to rid myself of filling my body with this garbage food.  I had to take a few days and just let all the toxins rid of my body.  To some it seems impossible to do, but take it from a woman who loves food, it can be done.

What happens to your body…….

Going on a fast allows the body to rest, detoxify, and to heal.   It is a great way to kick start your mind into better eating habits and help rid your body of deadly toxins that are lurking inside of you. During fasting the body moves into the same kind of detoxification cycle that it normally enters during sleep.  It uses its energy during a fast, not for digesting food, but for cleansing the body of accumulated toxins and healing any parts of it that are ill.  As a fast progresses the body will consume everything that it can that is not essential to bodily functioning .  This can include bacteria, viruses, fibroid tumors, waste products in the blood, any build up around the joints, and stored fat.

While your  body is eliminating toxins from your system this can cause mild discomfort such as headaches and irritability during withdrawal from caffeine and sugars. And naturally, you will have hunger pains.  Up until I started fasting, it was something I rarely felt going to bed.  I then realized that most of the world will goto bed hungry and feel like this.  Why was I stuffing myself with food that was costing money and causing harm to my body?  It just didn’t make sense.  You will also notice coldness, bad breath and heightened body odor, changes in elimination (constipation or diarrhea), light-headedness, changes in sleeping and dreaming patterns, aches and pains.  Most of these are very normal, a body’s way to adjust to eliminating toxins from body.

What can you do to help…..

Limit your activity and exercise moderately. Take time to rest. Fasting brings about miraculous results. You are following Jesus’ example when you fast. Spend time listening to praise and worship. Pray as often as you can throughout the day. Get away from the normal distractions as much as possible and keep your heart and mind set on seeking God’s face.

How should I begin…..

Start with a clear goal. Be specific. Why are you fasting? Do you need direction, healing, restoration of marriage or family issues? Are you facing financial difficulties? Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Pray daily and read the Bible.  I like to write all my “requests” out so that I can refer back to them during my prayer times.

How can I prepare spiritually…..

Confess your sins to God. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas of weakness. Forgive all who have offended you and ask forgiveness from those you may have offended.    Surrender your life fully to Jesus Christ and reject the worldly desires that try to hinder you.

Mark 11:25

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

Luke 11:4

And forgive us our sins,
For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.

Romans 12:1-2

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Which fast is right for me……

If you have never fasted before, I applaud your present interest! Fasting has been a major emphasis in the lives of many of the great spiritual leaders throughout history.  Jesus fasted for 40 days before starting his ministry.   John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist denomination, fasted every Wednesday and Friday and required all of his clergy to do the same. Effective ministers of God from the apostle Paul to Martin Luther to John Calvin made it a continual part of their walks with God.

No one has a perfect formula for fasting the right way.  Fasting is about a condition of your heart.  It does not matter if you fast for 1 day or 40 days—–yes it can be done.  I never believed it, I didn’t think it was possible to live on water alone for 40 days, until I had dear friends of mine complete that fast and do so effectively. God will impress it upon you what He wants you to do.

I suggest starting slowly.  Fast for one meal a day.  I would do this often while nursing.  I reminded myself to drink water during that meal.  I realized that I was eating an abundance of calories, so my body was not “missing out.”  But to give up that one meal when I would of normally enjoyed it, was “giving up” so that I could think about something other than my gluttony.

The Bible describes two types of fasts.  A partial fast is described in the book of Daniel.  Otherwise known as the “Daniel fast.”  The Daniel Fast is a plant-based eating plan with the only beverage being water.

When the bodies that God designed and created are fed the good quality foods He created especially for it improvements in health result. The high fiber in the fruit, vegetables and whole grains cleanses the body and improves digestion. It’s not uncommon for cholesterol levels to drop, for blood sugar levels to balance, for weight to be lost and for a general feeling of well-being to be experienced.

The other type of fast described is a water fast.  It was custom to the prophet.  I know of a few friends who have personally done this fast and have experienced many health benefits as well as spiritual benefits from doing this.  I would recommend doing this with caution.  Especially with doing so for a long period of time.  I personally have done it for a few days with no complications but if you are going to do it for a long period of time, you need rest and medical supervision.  Other people I know would do a juice fasting with the water.  It was provide the energy that you need “for people with normal lives” but it will humble you as you are denying your desire for solid foods.

Remember when it comes to making your final decision about what type of fast is right for you, the best advise is to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.  He will guide your heart and your mind as to what is best for you.  Remember, the most important consideration in fasting is your motive.  Why are you fasting?  Are you seeking something personally from God’s hand?  Do you wish to seek His face in worship, praise, and thanksgiving?

More on the Daniel fast…..

Here is a food list for you to follow while on the Daniel fast.  Again this list is just one that was made up to keep a standard.  Use your leading of the Holy Spirit when deciding which foods to eat and which not to eat.

• All fruits. These can be fresh, frozen, dried, juiced or canned.  Watch labels for “added ingredients.”  You want just fruit, no sugars.
• All vegetables. These can be fresh, frozen, dried, juiced or canned.  Again, watch labels you want no salt just plain vegetables.
• All whole grains, including but not limited to whole wheat, brown rice, millet, quinoa, oats, barley, grits, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat tortillas, rice cakes and popcorn.
• All nuts and seeds, including but not limited to sunflower seeds, cashews, peanuts, sesame. Also nut butters including peanut butter.
• All legumes. These can be canned or dried. Legumes include but are not limited to dried beans, pinto beans, split peas, lentils, black eyed peas, kidney beans, black beans, cannellini beans, white beans.
• All quality oils including but not limited to olive, canola, grape seed, peanut, and sesame.
• Beverages: spring water, distilled water or other pure waters.
• Other:  soy sauce, vinegar, seasonings, salt (sea or Himalayan salt preferred, see below for a detailed explanation), herbs and spices.

Why not table salt…….

Table Salt is highly processed, and most of the time it has some sort of animal residue in it, due to processing. Oftentimes, to bleach salt it is processed through crushed animals bones. Not only that, but since it is highly processed it has NO nutritional value and is sure to raise your blood pressure.

As humans we need very little salt in our diet and we regularly consume way too much of it. This fast will be an opportunity for you to retrain your body to eat healthier… and to feel better! If you do decide to use salt, buy the kinds still have minerals in it, such as Sea or Himalayan salt.

Foods to avoid on the Daniel fast….

• All meat and animal products including but not limited to beef, lamb, pork, poultry, and fish.
• All dairy products including but not limited to milk, cheese, cream, butter, and eggs.
• All sweetenersincluding but not limited to sugar, raw sugar, honey, syrups, molasses, and cane juice.
• All leavened bread including Ezekiel Bread (it contains yeast and honey) and baked goods.
• All refined and processed food products including but not limited to artificial flavorings, food additives, chemicals, white rice, white flour, and foods that contain artificial preservatives.
• All deep fried foods including but not limited to potato chips, French fries, corn chips.
• All solid fats including shortening, margarine, lard and foods high in fat.
• Beverages including but not limited to coffee, tea, herbal teas, carbonated beverages, energy drinks, and alcohol.

If you choose to start a fast this year, I pray God’s blessings for you.  May He answer your prayers and may you successfully subdue your flesh into a full submission to your spirit. Remember that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) If He could do a miracle in our lives, He is sure capable to do it for you too, because “…with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)