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Almost every culture has a special “rite of passage” for when boys become men.  Some may have them take a special journey on their own, some may have them go on a hunt, some might have a special ceremony.  But when in our Christian America do we decide when our boys become men?

Some boys might think it is when they get their drivers license, when they turn 18, when they are allowed to “date” a girl or maybe when they leave home.

But in reality there is no real special moment of transition for a boy. This leads to many insecurities in today’s boys.   Most boys  go about life and try and “prove” their manhood by doing senseless things as directed by our society.  They get involved in gangs, destructive behavior, or take a girl to bed….all to try and “prove” their manhood.

What can we as parents do to show our boys true maturity in manhood?  You and I both know that there is NO real secret formula or a magic pill that will make them leap over to manhood perfectly.  We all know that the answer lies with God.  God MUST be at work in our young man’s lives AND be at work in us as parents, helping  train and guide our young men.

True maturity is spiritual.  It is wisdom in knowing God and his will, and being able to carry it out in your life.  Proverbs 1 :1-7 says

The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel:
2 To know wisdom and instruction,
To perceive the words of understanding,
3 To receive the instruction of wisdom,
Justice, judgment, and equity;
4 To give prudence to the simple,
To the young man knowledge and discretion—
5 A wise man will hear and increase learning,
And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,
6 To understand a proverb and an enigma,
The words of the wise and their riddles.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Everyone has free will, we as parents can only seek the Lord with our whole heart and ask for wisdom.  We can do much planting and watering the seeds of God in helping mold our boys to manhood.

So, what are some practical things that we can do as parents.  We can help our boys grow in areas like:

1. Knowledge of the contents of the Bible.
   1. knowing bible history
   2. knowing main themes of biblical books
   3. know books of the bible in order.
   4. read the bible all the way through.
   5. understand how biblical teachings center around Christ
2. Knowledge of the major teachings of the Bible.
   1. be able to describe in words doctrine and respond to questions in using your own words.
3. Memorization of selected passages and scriptures of the Bible.
4. Personal relationship to the Lord.
   1. Using devotional material
   2. prayer diary
   3. participate in fasting and retreats
   4. growth in understanding of means for overcoming sin
5. Projects of service
   1. helping serve the needy
   2. devote time to serving in church
6. Wisdom in dealing with various spheres of life.
   1. finances–tithing, budget, investing, balancing a bank account
   2. etiquette– table etiquette, greeting etiquette, letter etiquette, conversational etiquette, sexual etiquette.
   3. Apologetics– answering questions and objections about Christian faith; understanding the Christian world view and the main competing worldviews and ideas in the United States.
   4. Sexuality: knowing Christian teaching and standards for thoughts and actions. Understanding how God designed male and female bodies

This list is extensive and not something that you approach overnight, it is something that you take years to help grow and develop your young boy into a godly manhood.

I pray that each of you reading this seeks the Lord in guidance and has a good support group when helping raise your godly young man.

For my “young man,”  he has turned 14 this past week.  Growing up before our eyes.  He has started to take over big brother’s jobs like cutting the grass.

Here he was for the first time, doing the yard.

For his birthday, we went to Yates Cider Mill for our annual trail walk.

I call it the country for city folks.  My husband and I have been going here since we dated and have taken our children, almost every fall since.  It used to be less crowded, but now since more are desiring to experience “nature” we find it is quite busy when we go.  

We usually go off of the main trail and take a lesser walked path down towards the water.  The children enjoy “exploring” and finding a new path.  

Here is Evan, showing his “age.”

The men walking along the path.  It is rather pretty when the leaves start changing color, we just went early this year.

We used to get all of the children’s pictures in front of this, but I could only get the little ones to pose.

Then it was home for dinner.  Evan loves fish.  We made some salmon and tilapia fish broiled. Curly fries and corn.  He was a happy camper.

For dessert we did ice cream sandwich dessert.  Simple, yet delicious:

Layer the following in 9 x 13 pan:

• 1 box ice cream sandwiches
• 1/2 carton cool whip
• hot fudge and caramel sauce
• candy toffee bits
• 1 box ice cream sandwiches
• 1/2 carton cool whip
• hot fudge and caramel sauce drizzled
• top with remainder of toffee bits

 

Place in freezer until firm.  So good.  You can vary it by using different flavored ice cream sandwiches or candy pieces. Evan chose banana split.

Here he was “showing up” his sister in his height.  Unfortunately my 16 year old is not very tall and he used to be the same height for a long time, now he has surpassed her.  Sorry Lauren.

My prayer for you Evan is that you grow up seeking the Lord and finding His path for your life.  You have many wonderful gifts that God has bestowed upon you, and I am excited to see those turn to fruition. You are a gentle, kind, and considerate young man with a bright future ahead of you.  I love you so much.

Happy 14th Birthday Evan!!!

Every day is a gift.  Your job is much more than cooking foods, cleaning house, changing diapers, and nursing babies.  Your job is to shape hearts and the lives of your children.  If you are faithful in nurturing, training, and teaching your children, than your reward will be an eternal blessing.

How do we go about doing that?

Live and interact with your children on a daily basis.  Let the little one, help wash dishes.  That big pile of water on the floor can be picked up with one large bath towel in seconds.  But that nurture and training will build a good relationship for when your child is 13 and can  be a blessing to you.

Make it a game with your toddler when gathering up the dirty laundry and throwing it into the basket and then making it be a dump truck, traveling to the dumping yard(laundry room.) Your children will learn that work is enjoyable instead of drudgery.  They will also learn that it is important to work for the benefit of others and they will bond with you in the process.

A mother finds her satisfaction in losing her own life for the cause of raising her children.  Life is NOT about pleasing ourselves for the here and now.  Possibly not even focusing on what we want.  It is about being committed to God first.  Then to our husbands, to our children, and to the journey that we are making together.

God is in the business of seeking mothers who are seeking Him.  In a world that has forgotten Him, God is looking for mothers who will be in charge of their homes and their children.

The godly mother will share love with her children.  She will also seek to “win” the hearts of her sons and daughters.  The first step to facilitating both of these is to place our children under authority.  In the same way that the fear of God prepares our hearts to have fellowship with God, disciplining our children and being in authority over them lays the foundation for wholesome parent-child relationships to develop.

Think of your role as the role of a store manager.  We must be filled with confidence, purpose, and decisiveness when it comes to parenting our children.  When we carry ourselves in a manner which shows we are in charge, it puts our children at rest.  This way when we are looked upon as “in charge” sometimes just giving “the look” will prompt your child to behave.

We need to be gentle mothers, who live AND laugh with our children.  Don’t be afraid to smile MOST of the time.  In fact, if you don’t your children will remember that.  Get down on their level, look into their eyes, and give them kisses and hugs.  Take the extra 2 minutes and go see their fort they have built, be impressed with the 20th picture that they made.

All those little moments will have lasting memories on your child.  Let them have a mother whom they remember as one who smiled and laughed and most importantly whose heart is safe with them.

Build those bonds, tie those heartstrings, and ENJOY your role as mother.  Is is like we are handed this big pile of unrefined gold.  Gold that we have to refine through discipline, direction, and love for eternity and fellowship with God.  That is a mighty job to have!!