Category Archives: self help

Failing at being a wife……

Posted on 07/09/2013 | 7 comments

Today I failed as a wife…………………………….
My husband,whom has worked a lot of hours this past month, just wanted to spend some quality alone time tonight and I shunned him. Instead he is off in the bedroom watching a movie, and I am out here writing my blog.

It doesn’t seem right………

But of course I justify my actions because I have been up since 7 am this morning, running the household alone, while everyone else got to sleep in and take relaxing times today. The baby has been extra fussy and wants to be held more, the 2 and 3 year old are louder than usual—and blah, blah, blah,–I am exhausted and just want to crawl into bed alone and take a long nap.

So I sulk In my head, knowing that I am in the wrong for what I am justifying. I think to myself no other wife does ALL the work like I do. I compare and contrast different husband and wife situations and where is it getting me?

Further away from my husband and God.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

I need to remember that it does not matter what I think is “fair” in my life. Jesus Christ did not get treatly fairly in his life. Most godly people, taking a stand for Christ are not treated fairly in their lives. If I believe wholeheartedly that God is in control of my life and that all of these “unfair acts” are necessary tools to mold and make me be a better person then I need to take my cross and bear it. I need to realize that I will keep failing in my duties as a wife and mother if I succumb to these lies and temptations. I need to quit these self pity thoughts and move onward.
What do I do from here? I ask for forgiveness. I admit I am a failure and I get back up again and change my attitude for tomorrow. I go above and beyond my duties as a wife to show my husband that I do love and care for him deeply. I apologize for being in a fleshy mood.

…………………onward to another day, another chance at redemption

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Posted in positive living, self help

“Mom, I am bored…..there is nothing to do” part 2

Posted on 06/29/2013 | 1 comment

Yesterday we talked about viewing discontent in our own lives and building that as an appetite for our children to think that they need this or need to be doing that to be happy. I also mentioned to take a media fast to foster some creativity. Children will never jump in and learn skill sets if the other option is media. We need to remove that, if only temporarily for them.

Children need to be taught to use their time wisely and pleasing to the Lord. Yes, there are many activities that do no harm, but we need to think is this the best possible way to use our time? Putting our children in this fast paced world, they are naturally going to want thrills. That is what our society is made of. The shock and awe of amusement parks, movies, even teen youth nights is what our children are being taught to crave. We need to train them in a more simple path of life, or as adults they will struggle with discontentment.
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Now worldly amusements may not be all together wrong, we just have to ask the Lord, “Is this activity going to be pleasing to you?” Or is this activity going to benefit my future?

We as parents need to offer constructive activities for our children.
The following is a list of things we can teach our children that will be of value to their future.

* Sewing
* Gardening
* Cooking
* Baking
* Craft making
* Wood working
* Small engine repair
* Basic car maintenance

There are a thousand other skills to teach them and yourself if you don’t know how to.

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Key is to teach them to be industrious, to enjoy working, and to be good stewards if their time.

The next time your children say, “Mom I’m bored”….start thinking creative pursuits instead of let’s go out and do something.  Teach them that living a plain and simple lifestyle in the end will bring much more happiness and contentment to their souls.

 

 

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Posted in positive living, raising children, self help

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How to turn a bad day into a good day in 7 easy steps

Posted on 06/18/2013 | 2 comments

 

How to turn a bad day into a good day in 7 easy steps

  1. Expect good things. Say to yourself that today will be a great day. Anticipate a great thing happening today.
  2. Focus on positive points. See each person and each problem, as an opportunity to be a blessing to them in some small way.
  3. Refuse to make self-fulfilling prophesy. Don’t assume the world is right when telling you that you deserve to be unhappy. Everyone has a voice and a special plan for their lives. Embrace it, don’t deny it.
  4. Your past does not determine your future. No matter what mistakes you may have made in the past, or yesterday for that matter, today is a new day. The sun shall rise again.
  5. Get a sense of proportion. Think is this really going to matter two weeks from now?
  6. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. You can’t fix how you feel if your not taking care of the body you have to live in.
  7. Be thankful. A heart of gratitude is truly thankful for whatever is thrown their way.

 

 

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Posted in positive living, self help

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7 tips for the harried housewife

Posted on 06/05/2013 | 1 comment

cropped-try-this1.jpg1. Keep things practical and simple.


When we live and work in the home, if we have a lot of stuff it feels cluttered. There is always something that needs cleaning, or straightening. Always something getting in the way. I find that if I don’t use something for a whole year, I get rid of it. I try and go through my house and weed out things that are unused at least 2 or 3 times per year. Give away to a friend, or sell online and pay off some debt. Make rooms as simple as possible. Ask yourself “Do I really need this? Or what purpose does this fill?” Work on a room every month, in a years time you should have made significant progress.

2. A place for everything, and everything in its place.

I can’t stress this enough…..organize…….organize…….organize. I could do this weekly. I’m always thinking of a better way to do things or to make them more efficient. Train your family to place items back where they got them from. Yes, it takes lots of time but eventually the 2 year old will get it!

3. Do 15 minutes of quick clean up.


Amazing what you can do in 15 short minutes of time. Set the timer and everyone work. Fill the sink with water and start cleaning up the counters, placing all stray cups in the sink, wipe down counters, backboards, and stoves while filling the sink. Wash a few dishes and let air dry, soak the crusted on pans while you sweep up the kitchen floor.

4. Keep odors under control.

Smelly homes are bad, they send a messages to unexpected guests that you are unclean. Keep bathroom trashes empty, wipe bathrooms down daily. Use a paper towel and cleaner in a spray bottle and do a quick wipe of sink, then toilet, then floors before you leave the bathroom in the morning.
For your diapers, keep your trash lid closed or throw diapers in an outside trash can. If you use cloth make sure to keep them in a closed in area preferable away from the normal household activities. Keep a few candles around to light in a quick pinch. My favorite is banana nut bread—-yummy.

5. Teach child preventative maintenance.

This takes time and patience but in the long run will yield good fruit. Train your children when coming into the home, take off your shoes and coats and put them away immediately. When done washing their hands and brushing their teeth, wipe up the mess in the bathroom. These little helps will go a long way.

6. Moms, get your sleep.

I know the one foolproof way for me to end up “losing it” is by not getting enough sleep. When we are not rested we will not be fit to take care of our children. The rule is if you are not blessed to have your babies sleep through the night then goto bed when they do. Its so easy to get wrapped up in reading blogs or by watching TV but it will take a toll on us in the morning. For myself, I have a nursing baby who eats every 3 hours, a 2 year old that has slept through the night maybe a handful of times since she was born, and a 3 year old who occasionally still gets up. Sleep is just not for me:-) I figured when I retire I’m gonna sleep till noon everyday:-)

7. Spend time in prayer.

When things look overwhelming, and you just don’t know what to do…goto the Lord. Ask him which things are most important for you to do right now and which can be put off till later. Or maybe you just need to vent and get some reassuring comfort.

As with everything know that to tomorrow is a new day and you can start out fresh again.

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Posted in Household, self help

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Accountability

Posted on 05/06/2013 | 2 comments

The bible speaks of being accountable to one another, bearing each others burdens.  The world says accountability leads to success.  I believe both.  One of the reasons for writing this blog is to become accountable in my actions as a wife, mother, and manager of our home..  Its easy to say “yes, I always choose the right responses in my life,” but the reality is…I’m a fallen person who makes more mistakes than I’m willing to admit:-)

Accountability is essential for any society to function.  Whether it be in the workplace, in the church, or in our homes, we need people around us to help us achieve success in our lives.  Whether your a mom of small children just needing that reassurance that what your doing is worth it, or that person struggling with addiction, its important to have people around to encourage and lift us up.

Proverbs 27:17 says.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

I think that this verse basically means that we can learn from one another, be a teacher and an example to others, and help build each other up.  Its important in all things in life to know that your not alone in what you do, and somewhere in this world is another person feeling exactly like you do. It helps us to continue on, maybe remove some feelings of guilt, and help us to be better human beings in this world.

Are you fulfilling your role by being a sharpening influence to help make someone more useful and productive in life?  Do you value and promote relationships with other good people to help “perfect” your own walk in life, even if that means that their corrections might be hurtful at times?  I encourage you to let yourself get “sharpened” by someone today.

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Posted in influencing others, positive living, self help

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