For most of us, we set new goals, plans, and resolutions that we would like to complete over the next year to make ourselves feel healthier, more secure, or happier. But what I am telling you is do something different this year…………………..Don’t set a single goal!!!!
What??!?!?! Have you lost your mind, Amy???
We have somewhere along the way, been led to believe that if we set goals and achieve them, then life turns out happier. Well if we look at statistics, it shows that most people give up on their resolutions and most don’t ever achieve the goals that they set for the year. I was a firm believer that if I set a resolution or a goal for my life and achieved it, then my life would be great. After all, I had a plan, one that appeared to look good and it somehow solidified my happiness in life. So what does that leave us with?
It leaves us as housewives with a cluttered home, a little more weight on our hips, and possibly a little more sadness behind our eyes. We start to view ourselves as failures because we can’t keep our homes clean, we don’t feel as attractive anymore, and we feel like we can never “measure” up to the mom who appears to have it all together.
So what I am telling you is to not set a single goal this year. Avoid the trap that makes you believe that if you accomplish your goals then life will be better.
Being a Mom, I know that plans get changed everyday. You start out strong doing something and then life happens. You get busy doing other things, chaos enters the picture and you revert back to your old ways and thus your goals die.
So what do you suggest Amy that I leave my home all cluttered and chaotic?? Or pack on those pounds so I can be more appealing to my husband?? NO WAY, I didn’t just write a book about helping you declutter your home and run a series about losing weight if I didn’t think it was important to happiness.
So what do I do if I am not supposed to make goals?
You change what you do have control over……..your daily habits.
If we start out by changing what we CAN change…..what we do each day, then when we start changing the way our year will turn out.
Weight loss problems
If I want to lose weight, instead of setting a goal to lose 40 lbs I start by changing a habit that I do daily. I decide that everyday I wake up and begin my day with a 30 minute elliptical time. I force myself to do it, because forming a habit is hard and does not stick right away. Eventually I enjoy waking early, having some alone time and seeing some pounds come off my hips. But if I did the opposite and set a goal to lose 40 lbs. I might work hard for a few days, see some weight shed, have a relapse and eat a bag of my favorite potato chips and then feel totally guilty for having them. I will begin to mope around that I will NEVER lose the pounds and just accept that I will be overweight for the rest of my life.
Or if I change my habits and begin exercising each day, then at the end of the year, I can look back and notice how much STRONGER I feel, how much BETTER I feel, and how many pounds I did lose that year.
A cluttered home
My home is in need of decluttering. So I grab a couple of garbage bags and start tossing items into it, to begin ridding myself of items I don’t need. I start filling them, and then set them in a corner when I grow tired of doing this task that has taken my entire Saturday up. I come home from church on Sunday and stare at the bags in the corner of my living room. I feel exhausted and don’t want to even THINK about what a HUGE job I have ahead of me in making my home more manageable. A few months go by, and I just forget the idea of decluttering my home and just laugh it off to people that I am a hoarder.
We could also try a different approach. I focus on ONE room in my home. I designate a set time each day or week that I KNOW I don’t have anything else planned. I designate that as decluttering time. I work for the amount of time that I have, either 20 minutes each day or 1-2 hours one day per week, and then I clean up what I did do and be excited that I got my ONE room half way or all the way decluttered. I continue doing this task each week on the day I set aside until I finish. When I look back at my life at the end of the year, I can see how much LESS stuff I have in my home then when I started.
Time spent with God
I want to increase my relationship with the Lord so I set a goal to read the entire bible in one year. A good goal to have. BUT, guess what, I start out in January, February, March, then April keeping ahead of reading schedule, but then warmer weather comes along and I start to spend more time outdoors. My goal of reading the bible in a year, starts to get lapsed. Oh well, maybe next year.
Or I can begin a habit of waking up before others in the home to enjoy some quiet time. Even though I DETEST waking up early, I KNOW that I want to spend time alone with the Lord each and everyday. I set my alarm and force myself to physically get out of bed when it sounds. I take my bible and read a part of it. Maybe I won’t get through it in one years time, but after a year, I sure have strengthened my relationship with the Lord.
You can fill in the blanks with any new habits that you want to make part of your own life. Go through my simple living challenge. Take one thing you want to change each week and start implementing it. Eventually you will become a person of habit and in one year’s time, you will accomplish more than you expected.