Category Archives: self help

Enjoying life with a large family

My husband recently started a new job, but with starting a new job comes all the stress of being the “new” guy.  My husband is a pretty resilient man, he just usually rolls with all the “cheap shots” geared towards the new guy.  Well, when you have a large white 15 passenger van that you sometimes drive into work, you know the ridicule is going to be magnified.  “Don’t you know how to stop that? or “Wow, really having 10 kids, that’s insane, if my wife wanted me to have that many, I’d divorce her.” or “You really want to go nowhere fast!”

sad….sad….sad…cheap shots made from the world.

One thing that I do know from living life is that when people are uninformed about something, they usually think its a bad idea.  Just because they don’t know any better.

And most people are misinformed about large families.

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My husband is a very wise man when it comes to speaking what he believes.  After enduring some ridicule last week at his employment, he laughed them off and just went with all the “shots” and then he turned to one of the workers and said, “Do you love your child?”  The guy kind of hesitated and stopped for a second and said, “Well, yes I love my child.”  My husband then said to him, “If you can imagine that little amount of love that you have with your one child, I have that multiplied by 10!  Why would I want to deny myself all of that love?”  He said the guy kind of stopped in his tracks for a minute and then was quiet.

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People in the world don’t realize why they do what they do.  Most people are on this hamster wheel of life, that just keeps spinning around and around and around.  With no real directions or destinations of getting anywhere in life.

They continue with life, doing what their parents did–get married, have 2.1 kids, what society has told them to do–goto college, find a job, work 9-5. It is a continuous wheel of never ending sameness.   They don’t really get anywhere they just kind of “blend” into society.

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Society doesn’t want you to go against the status quo—for fear of disrupting  it or creating disharmony.

One of my husbands favorite quotes is this:

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

Henry David Thoreau

We want to live life to the fullest.  Having a large family has filled our life so full of love that it is indescribable. Now is that for everyone?  No, I don’t believe God has called everyone to have ten children.  God has called US to have ten children and love them and bring them up as unto the Lord.  We love our life, we love our crazyness, we love being together doing things together every moment that we can.

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Most every weekend and night is spent doing this…

 

 

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Children playing, being children.  Isn’t this what life should be all about?

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Letting our babies enjoy watching leaves float down the river.  Enjoying the simpleness of life.

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Whether you have a large family, or small family, or no family at all, get outside this fall and enjoy some of Gods natural beauty.  Find a local park and start exploring.  We have come across many beautiful scenic areas, just by visiting the different parks in our area.  Pack a lunch or take a dinner, just enjoy being outside spending good quality family time.  Be unplugged from the world get back to fun, talking, and  knowing your children or spouse.  Do things like you used to do before life got a hold of you?

So what are you going to do?  Are you going to jump back on that hamster wheel, or step off and start enjoying life with your family?

 

 

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Be simple, be basic, no big packing, no big fancy foods, just jump in the car, grab a diaper bag for little ones, some peanut butter sandwiches,  apples, and water.  That is all a person needs–simplicity.  Go have fun, enjoy, live life the way that God has intended you to.


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Sometimes we aren’t relieved by God. Sometimes we merely endure.

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What if a loved one was in a self-destructing act and they didn’t want to stop.  You plead and beg and still no response.  Why?

What if their actions ultimately affected your childrens’ future and how they would live.  Why?

What if it was ruining you financial.  What then?

What if it was a lifestyle choice, something so easily seen by man to change but still no response.  Why?

What if it was a child dealing with a sickness?  Having to watch your own, suffer through things that they shouldn’t have to suffer.  Why?

 

Why is it who we love the most…we most often times belittle, put down, quench growth, and completely shut them out of our lives.  Why?

Why is it when things go bad and emotions run high we automatically put up walls as to not allow ourselves to feel the pain.  Why?

We are made human, we are made to feel , to love, and to hurt.

Why  is that?

Why would God allow us to feel such wonderful things and then experience such hurtful feelings as well?

Is it punishment?

Is it reaping and sowing?

Is it a learning experience?  Teaching us how to respond and do the right thing?

What….then?

The human race has fallen since the beginning of mankind.  It is natural to not care, to be mean, to self- destruct, to do what makes us “feel good”.  Even when that means harmful effects upon those around us.

All this said….where do we go from here?  Where do we go when it is us feeling the hurt, watching the shame, and seeing the financial ruin, right in front of you.  Then we are left to wonder what our future holds?

The answer is God.

What does God promise his people?   God promises relief from ALL troubles in the next world, but only some relief from troubles in this life.

Faithful people throughout the centuries witness to dramatic deliverances from sickness, from financial woes, from all manner of troubles. Flesh-and-blood human beings have testified to miracles.

They happen.

But not always.

Sometimes we aren’t relieved by God. Sometimes we merely endure.

But this isn’t such a bad thing. We are never nearer to God than when we are troubled.

In times of comfort and ease we forget him.

In the worst of times, we suddenly remember, “Oh duh, what if I asked God for help?” Sometimes the answer is the help we pray for.

The answer may be to “Lean on me, and you will survive and thrive.”

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Psalm 73:25-26

 

I need You to soften my heart,
To break me apart.
I need You to open my eyes,
To see that You’re shaping my life.

All I am,
I surrender.

Give me faith to trust what You say
That You’re good, and Your love is great.
I’m broken inside, I give You my life.

I may be weak, but
Your Spirit’s strong in me.
My flesh may fail, but
My God You never will.

Elevation Worship – Give Me Faith

The ugly side of beauty….

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

Beauty….now there is a powerful word. If you ever ask a girl, any age, what they think is beautiful, most remarks will have something to do with being skinny and look like a certain celebrity.  If you ask them if they think themselves to be pretty, most of the time they will say no.  They want this or that changed about themselves. Where do we get that from??

There’s no denying that our media and culture are obsessed with women’s looks. Magazines have weekly features with names like “body watch” that criticize female celebrities for being too heavy or too thin. TV and movie stars showcase unrealistic body types that most girls can’t copy without hurting themselves. Ads tell girls that, with the right beauty products, they can get their hair or makeup just right.

But another big influence on our daughters lies with us.  How many times do we complain that we look too fat today or need to lose a few more pounds?  Do we complain about getting older, or look into the mirror in disgust?  I know as a woman, I am guilty of falling into that complaint trap of “Oh, I just need to lose a few more pounds until I can get into this or that.” Or I need some makeup before we go out to “perk” up my face.   How much of that is my daughters listening to?  All of it.

Sometimes it can be very hard to love yourself especially when you don’t think you are beautiful.  Everywhere you look we are sold the promise that if we are beautiful our lives would be so much better.  That we will make more money, have better status, and have everlasting happiness.  Is it possible that beauty is just an unending lie, just propaganda? Why is it that we are listening to an industry that is fueled by money in order for us to be more pretty?  We need to stop letting someone else tell us what we need to do to be more beautiful.   We need to find the beauty that is already there.

 Everyone has something unique and beautiful about them.

We need to do more of the things that we love, things we are good at, things we enjoy doing.  We need to put that smile on to bring instant beauty to our faces.  We need to stop funding the cosmetics companies with billions of dollars of sales money on cosmetics and beauty treatments, that are unsafe for us. (Take a look at the chemicals in beauty products, not on the labels as it won’t say anything, but do a google search, to see what type of cancer causing agent you are smearing on your faces and maybe your daughters lips everyday.)

Most importantly we need to take a look at what God says about our appearance and re-evaluate ourselves.

The Bible tells us that we need to take a different approach to appearance than fitting into society’s idea of beauty.

What God Finds Important

God doesn’t focus on our outward appearance. It is what’s on the inside that matters most to Him. The Bible tells us that God’s focus is on developing our inner beauty so that it can be reflected in everything we do and what we are.

1 Samuel 16:7 – “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

 

James 1:23 – “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror.”

Unfortunately we do live in a superficial world where people do judge on appearance. We would all love to say that we are not in the majority, and that we all look beyond what’s on the outside, but virtually all of us are influenced by appearances.

Yet, we need to keep appearance in perspective. The Bible tells us that it is important to present ourselves as nicely as possible, but God does not call us to go to extremes. It is important that we remain aware of why we do the things we do to look good.

Ask yourself two questions:

Does your focus on your appearance take your eyes off the Lord?
Are you more focused on your weight, clothes, or makeup than you are on God?
If you answered, “Yes,” to either of the questions then you may need to take a closer look at your priorities. The Bible tells us to look closer at our hearts and actions rather than our presentation and appearance.

Colossians 3:17 – “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (NIV)

 

Proverbs 31:30 – “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”(NIV)

 

Are you this imperfect specimen that the advertising industry says you are or are you beautiful and just don’t know it.

I’m tired…..I’m worn……….

DSCN1757I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left.

These words have been like a breathe of heaven into my soul.  How many times do we doubt God for his ultimate control?  I know I do.  I fail miserably more times than I would like to admit.  I struggle with the Faith that he will take care of me no matter what.

Why is that so hard to believe?  Because believing is seeing and seeing things from God’s view is hard to do when the world comes at you.

I’ve heard so many stories about God’s redemption and what he has done for his people who have been almost completely destroyed by the world. Be reminded that no matter what comes at you today there is ultimate redemption and love for us through Him. .

I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

lyrics by Tenth Avenue North–Worn

Grace………..

Wow it has been a few weeks since I have been on here, the Lord dealt swiftly with my  wrong doing and I am thankful that he gives me grace to learn from my mistakes.

I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing what I was 1st called to be—a wife.  I was putting all my selfish desires above my husbands and I was in the wrong.

The Lord knows that sometimes I don’t listen so he was able to have my laptop, actually both of our laptops be broken during this time, so that I was in no way going to be able to do my blog no matter what.  Thankfully he is showing me His way, not my own.

I plan to ask the Lord before I “assume” it is what He wants.  Seeking Him in prayer each and every day about how my day should unfold.

I failed………I failed as a wife……I failed as a child of God.

 

but God is so wonderful in his infinite power and wisdom to allow me something called

Grace

Grace for another chance……grace to say its okay we all make mistakes, and grace to say tomorrow is another day.

Let’s learn from this and move on.  Being ready for the next.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will
boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

 
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